


Never Like This

by s0mmerspr0ssen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Polyamory, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-01
Updated: 2009-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-29 09:04:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s0mmerspr0ssen/pseuds/s0mmerspr0ssen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So", Harry said slowly, not sure if he was seeing the situation clearly, "You did something and it hurt your partner. He has something like a break-down during your fight and you - you run away to get drunk and pick up someone else?"</p><p>"I didn't plan on this", Sirius said, making a wide gesture with his hand, "I didn't mean to make you part of this, really. I just wanted to get drunk enough to forget about it for some time. This - it just happened."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Held Others Before

**Author's Note:**

> All right. This is old and I had originally taken it down from the internet, but as people keep asking for this one and "Dances With Wolves", I thought: whatever.
> 
> I'd do some things differently now were I to write these again, but as people seem to like them enough to look for them actively, I put this and my other HP fic back up.
> 
> Although I am more than dubious about the quality of this one: enjoy!

Sirius Black flinched when his lover's fist collided with the kitchen table, causing a visible dent in the cherry wood. However, Remus Lupin didn't seem to pay attention to the furniture. His amber eyes glistened furiously at the man across him. His usually neat brown hair was messed up, as if he had run his hands through it many times and the few glittering grey strands only seemed to make the man and werewolf more intimidating.

"Remus, listen..." Sirius said, his silver eyes pleading, but one of his lover's glares shut him right up.

"No! I am _done_ listening, Sirius!" he yelled and said Sirius suddenly felt very small in his chair. "I told you not to do it. I practically _begged_ you. You promised me, Sirius, you _promised_ you'd never seek revenge!"

He suddenly stood up, his chair clattering on the kitchen tiles, and started to pace like a restless canine. He kept silent, however. Remus clearly was too worked up to do any more coherent shouting at the moment.

Sirius sensed his chance. He, too, got up and held up his hands defensively.

"Remus, _love_ , I didn't plan on cursing the bastard, I really didn't. But he just managed to make me so... so _angry_. He knew exactly how to push my buttons. I swear, Remus, I didn't do it to hurt you." 

Remus let out a deep growl and for a moment, Sirius was sure his love would attack him. But then, he practically seemed to collapse in front of Sirius' eyes. He sank to the floor and buried his head in his arms.

"I told you", he said, his voice muffled, "always told you not to lose your temper. To keep calm. To take deep breaths." He laughed a mirthless laugh. "But you never listen. Ever. And now you're on probation. You could lose your job because of this!" 

For some reason, Remus' words made Sirius incredibly angry.

"Fenrir Greyback hurt you. Deeply and irrevocably. I couldn't stay calm when he started to insult you, Remus. You didn't fucking hear him go on and on about how you're a wild beast and one day you wouldn't be able to resist the call, the fresh human blood. He needed to be shut up!"

He had started to yell, just to cover up his desperation and hurt by Remus' reaction.

"But he's right," Remus whispered, his head still buried. "It might just happen. Moony's howling right now, pleading to take over. I can hardly keep him at bay. I _am_ a monster, Sirius. Greyback is right. And you know it. And _that's_ what makes you this angry, isn't it?"

He finally looked up and his amber eyes bore into Sirius' grey ones, filled with hurt, anger and... was that a hint of accusation?

Sirius snapped, his only recently discussed temper getting the best of him.

"Fine. If you want to believe me to be such a bloody asshole, after all these years, fine! I'm done with this. I'm done with your obnoxious self-pity. I'm going."

He stepped to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder, not caring about the mess he made with the silvery dust, or the whimpering noise coming from the bundle that was Remus.

With a last angry glare at his cowering lover, Sirius turned the flames green and shouted _"The Leaky Cauldron!"_ before stepping into the fire.

\------

Sirius gloomily stared at his drink, trying hard not to think of the argument he had had with Remus. He wasn't drunk, but definitely affected by the alcohol he had consumed so far.

The man hadn't stayed at _The Leaky Cauldron_ , but left for a muggle pub nearby, not wanting Remus to be able to find him. Deep down he knew he also didn't want his lover to see him like this, downing beer after beer just to forget about everything. He didn't remember ever feeling this frustrated. Yes, there had always been arguments. It seemed their relationship didn't work without them. But this, this felt entirely different. Like a wall Sirius had to climb over but simply ran _into_ instead, every time. After all these years, Remus was still unable to grasp the concept that he was _not_ a monster. 

He gulped down another couple of swallows. He really had tried hard not to get provoked. But Sirius had already been annoyed that they had to _protect_ that bastard instead of arresting him. Just because Greyback helped the ministry to get a hold of unregistered werewolves, they liked to overlook his own condition. Sirius had felt like betraying his job as an Auror, raising his wand for anything but to stun the worthless shite. And then he had started to talk and... 

"Rough night?"

Sirius jumped in his seat and looked to the table on his right. A young man with messy black hair was smiling at him, enquiring green eyes glittering behind a delicate pair of glasses.

"Sorry?" Sirius answered, stunned that the young man had approached him like that.

Green-eyes seemed to have come to the same conclusion and his smile turned a bit embarrassed. 

"No, _I_ 'm sorry", he said, tucking one of his unruly locks behind his ear. "It's just - I was worried you'd make that beer mug explode."

Only now, Sirius realized how tightly he was holding on to his drink. He eased his grip immediately and colour returned to his pale knuckles. Sirius couldn't help but smile back at the young man.

"Thanks", he murmured. "And yes. Definitely a rough night." 

Green-eyes laughed and Sirius noticed how handsome he really was. Maybe a bit too young, but definitely good-looking, especially with those glittering emeralds serving as eyes.

"I'm Harry," the young man finally said and offered Sirius his hand.

His fingers seemed fragile but elegant in his own hand, that was rough from constant Auror training and missions.

"Sirius," he replied and eyed the other table.

Harry seemed to be alone with his drink and a small, black book. For some reason, it reminded Sirius painfully of Remus and his own fascination for anything written. Hurriedly, he buried the picture of his love's relaxed face, sitting in his favourite chair in the living room, in the very back of his mind.

"So, you're out on your own? No one willing to listen?" the young man asked, his thumb tracing the back of his reading material.

Sirius was, surprisingly enough, not annoyed by the curiosity of a stranger. Maybe, he had had a beer too much - or maybe, Harry was simply likable.

"Actually, no," he replied with a small smile. "I was trying to get away from everything."

Harry blushed.

"Oh... I apologise. I didn't mean to bother you."

He bit his lip and looked way too guilty for Sirius' taste.

"No, no, it's fine," he reassured the young man quickly. " _Really_. Brooding isn't helping much, obviously." He hesitated for a moment and eyed the empty chair across Harry. "So, how about you? All alone, too?"

Harry sighed and looked down on his book.

"I think I was stood up", he admitted a bit gloomily. "I always have such bad luck with blind dates, it seems." 

Sirius actually grinned at that and stood up to move to Harry's table.

"Well, let's keep each other company, then", he announced while making himself comfortable.

Harry looked quite grateful, actually.

"Yes, that'd be lovely. Friday nights are really not supposed to be spent alone. I feel kind of pathetic, to tell the truth."

Sirius stifled a hearty laugh. 

"So, who's the cruel girl?" he picked up where they had left off, determined to make this a good night for both of them.

Harry wiggled a bit in his seat and averted his eyes. 

"It's not..." he started out hesitantly but stopped. After a deep breath, he looked up again to meet Sirius' eyes. "I am gay."

He seemed extremely anxious about Sirius' reaction. The man only grinned at him.

"Well, so am I," he said casually and Harry's eyes widened.

"Really?" he said, clearly surprised.

"What?" Sirius answered in mock-hurt. "Don't I look gay enough to you?" 

"No, no, I didn't... I mean I wasn't..."

But Sirius was already laughing. 

"I'm just having you on," he said and winked at the blushing young man in front of him. "So, you don't seem so comfortable about it," he continued in a more serious tone.

Harry sighed and nodded.

"I've only told my parents and friends recently," he explained willingly. "I have known for a long time, but I just didn't seem to find the courage. I know my parents and friends are really open about this kind of thing but still... I was so scared about being rejected, you know?"

Sirius nodded.

"I totally understand. I've never told anyone before I was eighteen, actually. I even dated girls, though it was more for my family's sake. Didn't want to give them any more reason to hate me."

"I'm sorry", Harry said, seeming a bit upset. "I can't even imagine how I'd feel without my parents' support."

"It's not that big of a deal", Sirius answered, not wanting Harry to pity him. "I ended up breaking with my family, anyways, and it wasn't because of my sexual preferences." 

Harry nodded and gave him another smile. For the first time, Sirius noticed how rosy his lips were and how sensual they looked around those shiny teeth. Apparently, Harry's little confession had turned on some switch in Sirius' head, as if being gay made him able to be deemed attractive. Instantly, the man's eyes started to wander to take as much of Harry in as possible. The table hid most of his body, but he seemed to be well-build. Harry definitely wasn't muscular or broad, but his slim frame didn't look skinny. His face was handsome and those eyes - well, they were definitely something special.

The young man seemed to feel he was being checked out. He slightly raised his eyebrows and held his book a bit more firmly, as if seeking support.

"Well," Harry said uncertainly and licked his lips.

Sirius couldn't help but stare a bit. With the alcohol loosening his tongue, the man couldn't stop himself from complimenting the young man in front of him. 

"You're really handsome, Harry", he said in a lower voice he knew drove both men and women crazy. "That bloke definitely didn't know what he'd miss." 

Harry's eyes widened and for a moment it looked like he was about to giggle nervously. However, he restrained himself and smiled firmly.

"Um, thanks."

"You're quite welcome."

For a second Remus' face appeared before Sirius' inner eye, as if warning him not to continue the flirt, with someone at a _muggle_ pub of all things, but the man was determined to forget. About _every_ thing.

Sirius let his leg wander and a second later, his calf brushed Harry's.

"So, how many boyfriends did you have since coming-out?"

In any other circumstances, Sirius would have never asked a personal question like this, but frankly, he didn't care about etiquette tonight. Harry seemed a bit flustered, but smiled bravely.

"None, actually. I just did some dating but nothing serious." 

Sirius grinned and leaned forward. Only centimetres away from the young man's face did he whisper: "And are you looking for something... serious?"

It was possibly the worst pick-up line in the century but Harry's breath hitched anyways. 

"I..." he started, clearly lost for any more words.

He was clutching his book really tightly now and flushed furiously. Sirius had to restrain himself from making a predatory noise. Thirty-nine and he still had it in him. Again, their legs touched and Harry let out a faint noise of excitement. It was all the invitation Sirius needed.

"How about having some fun tonight?" he enquired, his face still dangerously close to Harry's. "Like you said - Friday nights aren't meant for loneliness."

Finally, the young man seemed to have found his voice again.

"My flat is really close", he said, his voice a strained whisper.

"Perfect," Sirius answered. 


	2. But It Was Never Like This

Harry Potter still couldn't quite believe it. Here he was, walking down the streets of London, a much older but terribly handsome man at his side, approaching his flat. The young man had no doubt about Sirius' intentions. He hardly wanted to have a friendly chat with him.

Harry's heart was pounding fiercely. It wasn't that he was inexperienced. After all, Sirius had never asked about any boyfriends _before_ his coming-out. But taking home a stranger - he had never done something like this. He could already hear his mother's scolding should she ever find out about it and Harry definitely did not plan on telling the woman. He did want to keep his hearing for a few more years, after all.

Eventually, they had made it to the block of flats Harry's place was part of. The house was mostly full of muggle students attending one of London's universities, but there were two wizards living in the flats on his floor. Harry wondered if the ministry had its fingers in these kinds of things to avoid nosy muggle eyes seeing something they shouldn't. They took the stairs in no time and Harry retrieved the muggle key to open the door instead of using a simple _Alohomora_.

There was something else he was worried about. Sirius was likely to be a muggle, and he wasn't sure how to explain some of the things in his flat, like the magically chilled cupboard in the kitchen he used, instead of a regular electric fridge. Well, hopefully, there wouldn't be much talking and more touching. He nearly laughed out nervously at his last thought but restrained himself. Instead, he hurried to get rid off his jacket and placed it over the casual wizarding robe that was hanging on the hook nearby. 

Hastily, his eyes wandered over his small flat, searching for anything suspicious that might throw non-magical folk off.

"Floo powder!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed behind him and Harry jumped.

Indeed, a new package of the traveling dust was lying on his table nearby. He had forgotten about that.

"So, you're a wizard?" Harry asked and his voice sounded relieved, even to his own ears.

"Last time I checked," Sirius laughed and removed his shoes.

Well, what a coincidence. How high were the chances of finding an attractive gay wizard in a muggle pub? Harry smiled stupidly. Had someone put _Felix Felicis_ in his muesli this morning, after all? He watched Sirius strip off his jacket and Harry's eyes took in the older wizard's body. Sirius had to be in his mid-30s. His long, midnight hair was shiny and all Harry wanted to do is run his fingers through it. The t-shirt wasn't exactly tight, but he could definitely see that Sirius was active and well-toned. Harry felt kind of scrawny next to him.

Sirius chose this moment to turn around and caught Harry staring. He felt embarrassed, but Sirius only grinned and came closer.

His breath still smelt of beer, but for some reason Harry didn't mind. Maybe because the alcohol didn't seem to have much effect on the man. Perhaps he was a bit more talkative but Harry didn't know Sirius well enough to truly be the judge of that. Before he could waste another thought, though, warm lips were touching his and Harry focused on the sensation.

What a kiss it was! Sirius probably had plenty of experience. Harry ended up locking his knees in order to keep on standing when finally, Sirius' tongue pushed past Harry's lips and started to explore. He felt heat collect in a certain spot of his lower body and moaned quietly into the kiss, throughly enjoying the older man's advances.

Sirius' hands grabbed his hips and pulled him closer. Pressed tightly against the older man, Harry could feel that Sirius was equally aroused. They broke the kiss to breathe and Harry was positively panting.

"Wow," he breathed.

Sirius chuckled.

Harry grinned.

"Bedroom?" 

For a second, Harry thought he saw worry on the older man's face. His brilliant grey eyes looked away shortly and his smile seemed to falter. It all vanished so quickly, though, that Harry wasn't sure if he had actually seen those things.

"Yes, bedroom," Sirius finally replied and looked as confident as before.

The kissing continued on their way to Harry's chamber and by the time Sirius kicked the door close, he was definitely painfully aware of his body's needs.

"Oh, Gryffindor!" the wizard said while pushing Harry onto the scarlet and gold bed sheets. "That makes us mortal enemies, Harry."

"You were... a Slytherin?" he asked breathlessly after another of those overwhelming kisses.

"Yupp", Sirius replied, his hands slipping underneath Harry's shirt. "Only thing I did right, according to my parents."

The next second, the older wizard had found Harry's nipples and any thoughts about house rivalry vanished. He whimpered in pleasure at Sirius' pinching and rubbing fingers and one of his legs shamelessly curled around Sirius' behind, pulling him closer.

"Well, someone's needy," Sirius snickered and pressed his crutch against Harry's.

Both of them gasped when their clothed arousals met. Sirius didn't waste anymore time and rid Harry off his shirt. His thumbs immediately started to trace his rips, which made Harry arch upwards and close his eyes to simply feel the touch, and then - it stopped.

When he opened his eyes again, Sirius had backed away, one hand covering the lower half of his face.

"I can't do this," he whispered and stared at Harry as if he had seen a ghost.

"Um," the younger man replied uncertainly. "You seemed to do good just a few seconds ago...?"

"No," Sirius said and shook his head. His eyes were wide and glistened suspiciously wet.

"Did... did I do something wrong?" Harry asked immediately. Of course he must have! He probably had been too eager, too clingy, too...

"No, _no_. Merlin, Harry, it's really not your fault," Sirius hurried to reassure him. He ran his hand through his hair in agitation. "Look," he continued after a few deep breaths. "I... I have a partner. We've been together for... nearly 20 years, now."

Harry pushed himself up to his elbows. He narrowed his eyes when anger bubbled up, squeezing his stomach.

"And you're telling me this _now_? In my _bedroom_?"

"I'm sorry!" Sirius exclaimed and really sounded like it, too. "I didn't think..."

Harry snorted but moved to sit up properly, still shirtless.

"Yes, I can see that," he answered more calmly. "Mind explaining?"

Sirius took a shuttering breath and his shoulders slumped. He looked truly miserable and Harry's anger resided to make space for compassion. Silently scolding himself for not being able to hold a grudge for merely ten seconds, Harry sighed inwardly. His father had always told him he was way too tender-hearted.

"I... We had a fight. A big one. I did something stupid at work, something he had always warned me not to do. I'm an Auror, so a temper tantrum is a really big deal. Remus - my partner - was upset about it and we started yelling."

He stopped and bit his lip. Was he really fighting _tears_? Harry hated to see the crestfallen look on Sirius' face.

"Alright, so you two argued," Harry repeated in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "That's normal, every couple fights every once in a while. What happened next?" 

Sirius nodded hesitantly.

"He became really quiet all of the sudden. He seemed so hurt by what I had done, so worked-up about the whole fight and wouldn't listen to me anymore and I... ran away," he finished lamely.

"So," Harry said slowly, not sure if he was seeing the situation clearly. "You did something and it hurt your partner. He has something like a break-down during your fight and you - you run away to get drunk and pick up someone else?"

"I didn't plan on _this,_ " he said, making a wide gesture with his hand. "I didn't mean to make _you_ part of this, really. I just wanted to get drunk enough to forget about it for some time. This - it just happened." 

Harry couldn't quite believe his ears.

"I get that," he said and slowly rose from the bed. "But what I am asking is this: your companion - Remus? - is home alone right now, crying into his pillow or at least feeling extremely miserable about your row, maybe even guilty, and you don't want to go back and make it right? You rather get drunk and forget?"

Sirius stared at him, his face full of shock. "Yes?"

Harry's anger was back, but this time, he felt angry for Sirius' partner, not himself.

"Are you out of your _bloody mind_?" he yelled and threw up his arms. "What is _wrong_ with you? How can you follow some bloke to his flat to _have sex_ when the love of your life is alone and distressed - at your home?" He walked up to Sirius and gave him a hard shove towards the door. "Go!" he shouted when Sirius just blinked at him dumbly. "Go. Apologise! Make it right! Beg him to forgive you, for Merlin's sake!"

They had reached the living room and Harry ripped open the new package of floo powder. He threw a handful of it into the flames, half of it landing on the floor, and Sirius' legs finally moved on their own.

"I... okay," he stuttered and stumbled into the green fire. With a last distressed look at Harry, he called out the name of his flat and vanished.

By now, Harry was breathing heavily. He hardly ever yelled or shouted at anyone and certainly not for this long. Tiredly, he picked up his wand and cleaned up the mess on the floor. Sirius' boots came into sight and he picked them up. Another hand of floo powder and a few words sent the boots and his jacket after Sirius. 

Feeling worn-out, Harry sank down on the closest chair.

"Wow, Potter," he murmured into the silence of his flat. "Ditched twice in one night. That's a new low, even for you."


	3. Where My Body Inhales You

Remus wanted to be angry. Furious, actually. He should be sitting in the kitchen right now, wand at ready and curse Sirius Black as soon as he returned to their flat. He should catch him in a _Petrificus Totalus,_ then yell at him for the rest of the night, only to leave him in that state for the next week. 

However, reality had Remus Lupin lying on the bed he had been sharing with his partner for two decades now, his head buried in Sirius' pillow to smell his scent. By now, the wolf had calmed down and disappeared to the back of Remus' mind. His human counterpart, though, was still devastated about the fight earlier. Sirius had been right - he _was_ wallowing in self-pity. Usually, he could bury the dark thoughts about himself. He could pretend to be confident about his lycanthropy and deny to feel any less worthy than any other wizard. Truth was, though, that he had never been able to fully overcome his insecurities. Even 20 years of Sirius' unfaltering love and loyal companionship had not been able to wipe out his doubts completely.

He could feel them gnaw at his heart whenever he would argue with Sirius, even about pointless things. He would notice the sting of betrayal and hurt as soon as Sirius dedicated less time than usually to his lover. He nearly drowned in fear of being left because Sirius' eyes would wander to another man's backside. Sirius had been right to yell at him. He had seen how pathetic Remus really was.

The werewolf wasn't even sure why he had felt so angry about what his lover had done. He knew Sirius: the wizard would do anything to protect the people that were important to him and Fenrir Greyback laughing into his face had probably been like poking a stick into a beehive. Adding that to the hunting-down-werewolves-mission he had despised from the start, Sirius simply had snapped. Remus couldn't really blame him. And on some hidden level in his mind, Remus had felt good, yes, even happy about Sirius' reaction, in spite of everything his rationality told him. Sirius had cared enough to risk his job for his loyalty to Remus.

Maybe, that was it. Maybe, Remus had been angry with himself, too, for silently approving of Sirius losing his temper, and had taken it all out on his partner.

Of course, Sirius shouldn't have walked away. He should have stayed and Remus and him should have talked about it and come to a solution, like two reasonable adult wizards. But even approaching his 40s, Sirius sometimes still acted like a teenager. He was probably downing fire whiskey at _The Cauldron_ right now. Remus had briefly thought about going after him but eventually decided against it. Apparently, Sirius needed some distance and all Remus could hope for was the he was coming back soon.

After what seemed an eternity, his werwolf hearing could pick up the crackling noise of the floo fire. Remus immediately knew that is was Sirius. After a few staggering steps, Sirius seemed to have gained his foothold and stepped away from the fireplace. 

"Remus?"

The addressed man shuddered. Merlin, Sirius sounded absolutely pitiful - but at least not drunk. The foot steps moved and soon were approaching the bedroom.

"Love?" Sirius called out just in front of the door. His voice broke halfway through the word and Remus' heart clenched.

"I'm here," he said softly, turning his head to the door.

But Sirius had heard him nonetheless. He opened the door slowly and stopped at the threshold.

Sirius looked positively miserable. His hair was in a sorry state, lightly tangled and still covered in some ashes from flooing. His mouth was a thin line of worry, lips pressed together tightly and void of colour. And his eyes - red, as if he had been crying or at least fighting tears. He looked so guilty.

As soon as their gazes met, Sirius hurried forward only to sink down next to the bed. 

"Remus, love, I'm sorry," he murmured and grasped one of his hands. "I'm so sorry."

Remus swallowed, his nose picking up the smell of alcohol. So he _had_ been drinking, after all. Well, at least it wasn't the sharp scent of wizarding whiskey.

"Shhh," he made and tried to smile. Remus had the feeling it turned out to be more of a sad grimace. "Sirius, it's okay. It was just a stupid fight."

"No," Sirius whispered, clutching Remus' hand tightly, "No, it is not okay. I am such an arse..." The next second, Sirius had buried his head in Remus' side, releasing his hand to grab the man's shirt instead. "I... Merlin, Remus... You will never forgive me!"

Carefully, Remus sat up, pried the clawing hand off his clothes and cupped Sirius' face with his own before the man could draw back.

"What are you talking about? Of course I forgive you! After all, you haven't _killed_ him or anything. Calm down."

Sirius stared up at him. But instead of looking comforted, he seemed even more troubled than before.

"Not Greyback," he whimpered and then bit his lip.

"What do you mean - not Greyback?"

But Sirius kept silent, only staring up at him pleadingly as if trying to send him a silent message with his gaze. Remus frowned helplessly.

"Love, I am not a Legilimens," he joked weakly, trying to get a reaction.

"Remus," Sirius finally whispered. "I... I nearly slept with someone else tonight."

Remus dropped his hands from Sirius' face as if he had been burned.

"W-what?" he stammered in disbelief. Surely, he hadn't heard right. He must have misunderstood. 

Once having found the courage to speak up, though, Sirius didn't seem to be able to stop.

"Remus, love, I _swear_ I didn't go through with it. As soon as I realised what I was really _doing_ I stopped! It was stupid, brainless, I know, but I promise I still love _you_! You're all the world to me! I mean it!"

He finished somewhat breathlessly, still kneeling on the floor next to the bed, eyes full of both hope and fear of Remus' reaction. 

All the man could do for the next minute, though, was stare back quietly. Gape and listen to the blood rushing through his veins like mad. He still couldn't believe it. Sirius had just confessed to have done the one thing Remus had always been afraid of the most. He had gone and hooked up with another man. He felt numb.

Meanwhile, Sirius had been eyeing him closely, searching his face, probably for any trace of emotion.

"Love?" he whispered eventually - and something inside of Remus cracked.

A deep, wolf-like growl escaped his throat when animalistic fury overcame him and Sirius immediately scooted backwards.

"Don't _call_ me that", Remus snapped, shuddering slightly at his own menacing tone. He stood up, positively towering over Sirius now, and glared down at him. "Well? Tell me! Give me all the _delicious details_."

Sirius just looked up at him, face filled with terror. He opened his mouth but no words got out. Remus growled again and bowed down, grabbing Sirius by the collar.

"What? Being a coward all of a sudden?" With werewolf strength, he pulled Sirius up, so close their noses nearly touched. Remus could feel the other man's slow, choppy breaths on his face, warm and panicked and _something_ in him enjoyed seeing that fear. "Was he _young_ , yes, Sirius?" he snarled and it sounded ugly, even to his own ears. "Was he really _handsome_? How about quiet and obedient? No talking back, huh?" Their lips were nearly touching now and Sirius let out an agonised whimper. Remus' eyes narrowed. "Did you do _this_ to him?" 

He finally crushed their faces together and forced his tongue past Sirius' lips, downright violating the man's mouth. It was a nightmare of a kiss but Remus' didn't care. This wasn't the timid, bookish wizard seeking affection. No, this was a jealous, brutal werewolf claiming what was _his_. When he finally pulled back, Sirius was gasping for air, his eyes wide, pupils dilated, his lips slightly bruised.

"You are _mine_ ", Remus gnarled into the other man's face. " _Mine_."

He finally let go off Sirius' shirt and with a heavy _thump_ , Sirius collided with the floor. 

As the wolf retreated again, for now content with having assured his territory, the angry, red haze disappeared from Remus' mind. He suddenly realized he was breathing just as heavily as Sirius and his own lips hurt from his assault. He staggered backwards until the back of his knees collided with the bed and gave in. Sitting on the sheets he closed his eyes for a minute, concentrating on his own breathing.

Then, there was a soft hand on his shoulder and Remus looked up into wet, grey eyes. But Sirius was smiling. Remus had just ill-treated the love of his life and made him cry and Sirius was smiling.

"Of course I am yours, silly," he murmured and carefully leaned forward so their foreheads were touching. "The question is - are you still mine?" 

Remus gulped. "Sirius..." was all he could say. Heavy silence descended upon the room, but none of the man moved away.

"Can we just..." Sirius finally said, but hesitated, blinking at Remus. "How about we sleep on the whole thing? I know I've made a huge mistake and..." 

This time, Remus shut him up with a soft, almost shy kiss.

"You're right," he replied. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Let's sleep." He reached out and pulled Sirius into a hug, burying his face into midnight strands of hair. "It'll all work out, right?"

They lay down and Remus reached for Sirius hand, carefully entwining their fingers. He was determined not to let Sirius go. He couldn't leave again. He needed him here, next to him, warm and close. It was easier to forget that he had let the wolf attack, when Sirius was still willing to touch him, and easier to ignore the man's confession, when they were still sharing a bed.

"I love you," Sirius whispered into the darkness, after they had spelled the lights out.

Remus gave his partner's hand a reassuring squeeze. 


	4. And Quivers With Bliss

The week following The Day, how Sirius had silently named it, was extremely awkward. Even though he had had many conversations with his partner talking about both Greyback and the semi-adultery and Remus claimed to have forgiven him for everything, Sirius couldn't quite ignore the bold possessiveness the werewolf displayed.

Not that Sirius minded the rough but mind-blowing sex every night. He wasn't usually exclusively a the bottom, but definitely not complaining. And even though he'd never admit it, Sirius needed Remus to take over like this. To _claim_ what was his. Because more than once had a certain pair of breath-taking green eyes crossed his mind in the past days. Sirius was entirely sure he was deeply and irrevocably in love with Remus. His heart belonged to the man. Still, Sirius' thoughts wandered back to Harry at random times and he didn't know what to make of it. Obviously, discussing his little obsession with Remus was not an option. 

It didn't help that said werewolf continuously dropped hints about the young man. He had been equally astonished and satisfied that Harry had yelled at Sirius for cheating on his significant other. Sirius was positive that Remus wanted to meet the man that had been toyed with by Sirius only to stand up for the man's actual lover he didn't even know. And Sirius still needed to apologise to Harry, too, for... well, pretty much everything.

The only problem was: he didn't have a clue about Harry's surname or whereabouts. There could be dozens of wizards with the name of Harry in London for all he knew. Sirius didn't know what he did for a living - was he still educating himself or did he have a job? He didn't even remember the way to his flat - after all, Sirius hadn't really planned on going back there. Merlin, he hadn't planned to go there _at all_. It had been one of Sirius Black's famous gut decisions. They were either genius - or ended in total chaos. And they had all seen what this particular one had lead to.

As for now, Sirius and Remus were stepping through the transformed brick wall in the back court of _The Leaky Cauldron_ to do some shopping. Remus wanted to pick up a new release on Defense and look for a new job in muggle London later. He had lost his last employment after three months - as always, due to his lycanthropy-induced days absent - and was struggling to find something new. But if there was one thing Remus Lupin hated it was depending on anyone's, let alone Sirius', money. The latter already owned their flat and paid for most of the groceries, so staying at home was simply not bearable.

"So, _Flourish_?" Sirius inquired when they stepped onto the cobble stone of Diagon Alley.

"Yes. And maybe, that second-hand shop I like," Remus replied thoughtfully. "You know, _Seven Sickles_?"

"Whatever you'd like, love," Sirius cooed and winked at him. Remus rolled his eyes, but Sirius didn't miss the small smile that graced his lips.

 _Flourish &Blots _was unusually busy for a weekday. A couple of witches were giggling over a violet booklet in a corner, right next to a group of dignified wizards with long white beards, that were discussing a stack of leather-bound tomes on a shelf. A bunch of children was arguing about the latest wizarding comic under the strict eye of an elderly woman with a large lime green hat. An impressive line had built up in front of the counter where a single shop assistant was trying to please all the customers at once.

Remus quickly grabbed his book and joined the waiting wizards and witches. He chose to open and skim through the book whilst waiting which left Sirius to stare out on the alley. They had just moved to the front of the queue when Sirius spotted a familiar head of unruly, raven hair just outside the book shop. Harry, _the_ Harry, was talking to a young witch with bushy, brown hair. 

Immediately, Sirius got a hold of his love's arm.

"Remus," he hissed and the man looked up from where he was counting galleons.

"What?" he asked and handed the girl behind the counter the golden coins.

"It's Harry - there, outside!" he answered and pointed at the glass door with his free hand. The young man was just waving his friend good-bye and turned to walk away. "Damn, he's leaving. Come on, Remus!"

Without further ado, Sirius grabbed Remus' purchase and pulled the werewolf out of the shop.

"Sirius, that were _ten_ sickles worth of change," he complained but didn't fight Sirius hold.

"Who cares, I don't want to lose him."

They moved quickly enough to see Harry's emerald robes disappear behind the Quidditch shop. He had gone into one of the many small alleyways that were linked to Diagon Alley and Sirius hurried to catch up. As soon as they had stepped around the corner they could see the young wizard enter a small shop nearby.

"Oi - isn't that your little shop?" Sirius asked in astonishment when he read the sign above the small display window.

"If with _my little shop_ you mean the one and only _Seven Sickles_ \- yes, you are right," Remus responded but didn't quite hit his usual dryness. He seemed just as surprised by Harry knowing about his favourite shop. 

The men decided to go in - after all, Remus had planned on going there, anyways - but when they entered, nobody seemed to be in the sale room. Hushed voices came from a back room behind the counter but there was no sign of Harry. Shrugging, the werewolf went off to look through the shelves of used books and parchment scrolls and after a few minutes, Sirius joined him in his treasure hunt. 

Soon enough, though, foot steps approached and both wizards turned around to see a puffed young wizard, a stack of heavy, old books in his hands.

"Welcome, how can I help..." He never finished his sentence. Upon seeing Sirius, he let out what could only be described as a muffled squeak and promptly dropped his burden.

"Hello Harry," Sirius said, trying to suppress the grin that wanted to sneak on his face when the books hit the floor. 

"Sirius..."

Harry sounded somewhat faint. He gulped and stared up at the taller man in front of him, apparently unable to have any kind of conversation. Surprisingly, it was Remus who ended the thick silence. 

"Let me help you with that," he said pleasantly and bowed down, starting to pick up the scattered books. Harry blushed in embarrassment and hurried to do his part.

"I'm terribly sorry," he murmured. "I can be so clumsy. No, please, let me do that." When all the tomes were back in his arms, the young man set them down on a loop-sided table nearby.

"So, you work here?" Sirius asked curiously, eyeing the plain black robes Harry had changed into.

The young man nodded but kept silent. Sirius could see his eyes wander over to Remus and widen with realisation.

"This is Remus," he introduced his partner and Remus smiled warmly, offering a hand.

Sirius could feel nervousness he hadn't even been aware of fade away on the sight. Apparently, Remus didn't seek a fight with Harry, but was genuinely interested in getting to know the young man.

"I'm Harry. It's... it's very nice to meet you."

Harry sounded terribly nervous but shook the werewolf's hand regardless. 

"It's a pleasure." Remus eyed Harry for a minute before he continued: "So, who would have thought we'd meet you here? Sirius told me all about you, Harry."

"D-did he?" Harry threw a panicked glance at Sirius who chuckled before nodding reassuringly. 

"I told him. It's fine."

Harry flushed scarlet.

"I'm sorry," he muttered and averted his gaze.

"Whatever for?" Remus asked, clearly as surprised as Sirius by the young man's words.

"For this," Harry replied, making a vague gesture with his hand and still avoiding to meet anyone's eyes. "You... you should never meet me. You know - just forget about it and move on." 

Sirius swallowed. Was Harry blaming himself for the whole incidence when it had clearly been Sirius' fault entirely? Or was he simply feeling insecure upon getting to know Remus?

"Don't worry about it," Remus said when Sirius didn't make any move to speak. "I don't hold any grudge against you. Really, it's fine."

Harry finally looked up but didn't seem at all convinced. He frowned at Remus' words and bit his lip before answering.

"I... You..." Eventually he sighed. "This is so awkward."

Sirius let out a short laugh. "A bit," he admitted and winked at Harry. "Maybe, we shouldn't discuss this at your work, though."

"I agree," Remus jumped in, just when Harry opened his mouth to answer. "Why don't we all meet for a drink?"

Sirius didn't escape the irony of having a drink of all things, but simply nodded. Hesitantly, Harry agreed to meet them at _The Leaky Cauldron_ that night and then offered to help Remus with his purchases. Sirius watched the two of them interact. Harry still acted a tad nervous and constantly tucked a strand of hair behind his left ear. Remus, however, seemed perfectly at ease. He kept smiling and nodding and even touched Harry's shoulder once or twice, maybe to reassure him or make a point.

If Sirius Black hadn't known better, he would have accused his lover of flirting with the young man.


	5. Where My Senses Are Reeling

Harry felt absolutely nauseous. He idly contemplated whether to be sick over the counter in front of him or if she should actually bother running to the loo beforehand. Of course, Harry wasn't actually ill. He was simply nervous. Even though there really was nothing simple about the situation he found himself in.

Seeing Sirius again had been difficult enough. His heart had skipped one or two beats as soon as the man's perfect teeth had been revealed in a charming smile. And hardly had he caught his breath again, he had seen _him_ \- Remus. Harry hadn't known if she should cry, laugh or scarper off screaming.

Remus had been incredibly nice to him. More than that - he had been kind, reassuring, amiable, friendly... and drop-dead gorgeous. How Sirius could ever, _ever_ , cheat on his handsome partner was truly beyond him. The thirty or so minutes he had spent talking to the man in the shop had been enough for him to realise just how lovely Remus was.

During the last week, Harry had comforted himself with various thoughts; one of them being that Remus wasn't Sirius' love of his life after all. That he was actually mean and cruel and liked to argue with Sirius, making him go and hide in muggle pubs. In his mind, Remus had been a snide and malicious man and not at all good-looking. It had made him feel a lot better about himself and the whole incident in general.

Now, Harry felt extremely miserable. Not only did guilt gnaw on his stomach for helping Sirius making this wonderful person feel bad - no - he had also felt _attracted_ to the wizard. If the man had been single and 20 years younger, Harry would have asked him on a date right there. They shared the same taste in books and authors. Remus seemed to enjoy and know a lot about DADA, too, which was the main subject of Harry's apprenticeship. And there was just something about him that made Harry's breath catch. As if, under the smiling face and inconsiderable wool cardigan, there was something wild and exciting waiting.

Tiredly, Harry moved the second-hand wizarding wallets he had been checking back into their shelf and went to change out of his working robes. A look at his pocket watch told him it was nearly time to meet both men at the pub. Harry's stomach tightened. This only had the potential to be even more awkward and uncomfortable than the meeting this afternoon. Especially with him having made out with one of them and secretly wanting to with the other.

Diagon Alley was always surprisingly silent at night. A few shop owners and late-night visitors were still walking up and down the street but it was nothing compared to the swarming during the day. It made Harry's trip to _The Cauldron_ a lot shorter than he would have preferred.

Hesitantly, he opened the wooden door. Most of the tables were occupied. Tom, the old and scruffy pub owner, was moving swiftly between the patrons, taking their orders, serving and cleaning uo, along with a young waitress. Harry hung up his robes and carefully looked around to check whether Sirius and Remus had already settled down at a table.

He spotted them in the far back. As soon as he saw them, though, Harry had the urge to turn around and run. They were sharing a bench in one of the booths on the wall that promised customers more privacy. Their hands were entwined, openly exposed on the wooden table in front of them and Sirius was leaning really close, whispering something into his lover's ears. His shiny black hair fell into his face in a rather lovely way. Remus laughed at whatever was said and brushed a light kiss on Sirius' cheek in response, amber eyes flashing with amusement.

They were perfect together.

He'd be playing gooseberry tonight. It was so obvious he was an intruder. Merlin, everything would have been a lot easier if Remus had just slapped him, accused him of being a slut of some sort and then hexed him into the next week for as much as looking twice at Sirius. Unfortunately, all his plans to escape were nullified when Remus looked up and spotted him. He waved and smiled his incredible smile and Harry's legs moved before his brain had time to work out any kind of excuse not to do it.

"There you are!" Sirius nodded at the bench across from them. "Make yourself comfortable." Merlin, did he look good in his midnight blue shirt. No wonder Harry had been overwhelmed that night.

"Thanks," he replied uncertainly, desperately trying not to goggle. The young waitress came by to ask what he'd like to order. Even though he should be starving by now, Harry only asked for something to drink. He didn't quite feel like challenging his stomach tonight.

"So, how was work?" Sirius asked cheerfully, grey eyes flashing with joy. He seemed to be perfectly calm and not at all worried about having another drink with Harry.

"Busy, actually," Harry replied, thankful for a topic other than their little love triangle - or whatever it was. "I had to help a customer get rid off a nasty set of clothes-pegs that had attacked his face, actually."

Remus chuckled. "I love _Seven Sickles_. You never know what you'll find." He cocked his head thoughtfully. "When I think about, I've never seen you working there before."

"I just started a couple of weeks ago. I don't want to live off my parents' money forever, you know."

"Very responsible," Sirius grinned and Remus nodded.

Soon enough, they were talking about Harry's apprenticeship and fell into a lively discussion about Defense. Harry felt more and more comfortable around Sirius and Remus the longer they sticked with safe talking material. He could nearly forget about his troubles and simply enjoy their company.

However, he was still very aware of how handsome both men were. True, they were a lot older than Harry - approaching their forties according to Remus - but for some reason it only made them more interesting. And it wasn't like age really was that much of an issue in the wizarding world, with their kind growing much older than muggles ever would.

Ah, but he shouldn't think this way, really. They were taboo. Totally off limits.

Remus was smiling at him so warmly, though. And Sirius kept touching his hands to emphasise what he was saying. Or was that single glass of whiskey making him dizzy already?

"... so he threw that really nasty leg-locker at Kingsley and it was just me and him," Sirius told them excitedly. "He threw a stunning spell and I decided to fake being hit. So the bloke lets out a big sigh of relief and grabs the magical artefacts to head off, obviously not watching his back. One _Stupefy_ and we had him and his collection of dark amulets."

"What happens to those things when the Aurors confiscate them?" Harry asked, intrigued by Sirius' story entirely.

"They mostly try to defuse them," Remus put in. "I have a friend whose job is de-cursing some of those dark objects. She _always_ has something to do, I assure you."

Sirius nodded in conformation. "When even the specialist fail, they disappear in some chamber down at the Department of Mysteries. My educated guess is they become toys for the Unspeakables."

"Do you know at all what to do later on? If you're so much into Defense, why aren't _you_ trying out for the Auror program?" Remus asked, looking at Harry.

"Not enough NEWTs", Harry admitted a bit embarrassed. "I am rubbish at Potions."

Sirius laughed. "You and Remus can form a club, then. He can't make a half-decent vial, even if his life depended on it."

Remus blushed. "It's not that bad, Sirius," he muttered and his lover gave him a soft kiss for an apology.

Harry tried hard to look away but couldn't help remembering the times when those lips had touched his. And how good it had felt. Hurriedly, he took another sip of his drink to cover up his probably dreamy expression. But it only grew worse over the next hour. Even though they had been together for a long time now, Remus and Sirius were behaving like a couple of young love birds, constantly touching and flirting with each other.

It was torture. Harry did a fairly good job at hiding it, but the longer he was watching them, the stronger grew that ugly feeling of jealousy in him. He wanted that, too - to be kissed and dote and be loved like that. It took several silent reminders of his conscience to remain calm throughout the evening.

In the end, though, it was Remus who saved him from doing something he'd regret later on.

"I think it's time we head home. Sirius has to work tomorrow and I'm sure you're back to studying, Harry."

"I am." He refused to let them pay for him, trying to make this as little a date as possible, went to get his robe and stepped to the fire place eventually, both wizards right behind him.

Sirius smiled down at him. "This was nice. Maybe we should repeat this some time?"

 _NO!_ , Harry's rationality screamed in his head, _NO! You can't do that, they want to be friends and you want... something else!_ \- but his mouth seemed to have a different plan: "I'd love to."

"Great." Remus looked pleased and reached out to squeeze Harry's shoulder briefly. A tingling sensation lingered where the man's warm hand had touched him and Harry wished he'd do it again, maybe somewhere else...

Merlin, what was he thinking? He needed to get away from them. He'd make up some excuse not to see them so soon - practical training at the Amazon or something equally time-demanding - until he had sorted this whole mess out. He wasn't falling for them. He just wasn't.

But if he really wasn't, why was he feeling like a fourteen year old with butterflies in his stomach, as the wizards waved at him through the emerald flames?


	6. From The Strentgh Of Desire

In the end, Remus thought he really should have seen it coming.

After their night out with Harry, he hadn't needed increased werewolf perception to pick up on Sirius' messed-up state of mind. His lover was acting scatterbrained, constantly asking where his things were or putting his filled mug of coffee into the cupboard. His superior had probably picked up on it, too, because Sirius informed him he was on paper work duty at the moment, which Remus was glad for. He really didn't want Sirius to be severely cursed because his mind had drifted off during a mission. A visit to St. Mungo's wasn't really on his priority list.

Sirius could go from being overly clingy to coldly distant within a moment these days. He would kiss Remus senseless in the kitchen only to avoid the couch the werewolf was sitting on five minutes later.

But the worst thing was - Remus wasn't doing much better. He had always been good at hiding his emotions and Sirius was too preoccupied to notice anyways, but Remus felt agitated, too. Meeting Harry had definitely been an experience. Angry werewolf-Remus had been right that night - Harry was young, handsome and a little bit on the quiet side. It turned out, though, that he hadn't been irritated about it. The young man was wonderful company. Remus had liked him from the moment those books hit the floor at _Seven Sickles_. His jealousness had vanished almost instantly making space for - well, what was it? Sympathy? _Attraction_? But really, how could anyone hate the young wizard when he had acted so adorable - and was so oblivious to it.

Remus had always had a weakness for the cute. Sirius could talk him into pretty much anything with his puppy look and the one time he had had a job at a sweet shop, more than one child had smiled free chocolate out of him. So as soon as those large green eyes had met his, Remus had been intrigued. Any ill-feelings he had nursed had vanished right then.

But Harry wasn't only a sweet person, he just was everything Remus looked for in a friend - _or partner_ , a nagging voice in the back of his mind teased. If liking second hand shops hadn't been enough, Harry had a great taste in literature. Remus couldn't quite believe how many of his favourites he shared with the young man. And even though he wasn't even 20 years old, he had a broad knowledge of Defense. Remus had thoroughly enjoyed their discussion at the pub. So much, actually, that they had never come around to address the issue at hand - their odd relationship with each other.

Yes - Remus should have definitely seen it coming.

Sirius didn't even have to use his puppy eyes - when he asked to invite Harry over for dinner Remus had instantly agreed. _Just as a friend_ , he had told himself. _Friends my arse_ , the nasty voice had snickered and sounded a lot like a teenage Sirius Black. They sent out an owl asking Harry to come over the following night.

They were just settling down for breakfast the next morning when a beautiful white owl gracefully descended onto their kitchen counter.

"Must be Harry," Sirius said, the excitement in his voice causing Remus a stab of pain. But it wasn't his right to complain, not really. Not with that warm feeling that had spread in his own stomach upon seeing the owl himself. He watched Sirius untie the parchment and offer a piece of bacon to the bird as a treat.

"Read it out loud," Remus prompted, trying hard to ignore the fact that Harry's snowy owl eyed him distrustfully. Animals never liked being around him, probably sensing the threat of the wolf.

"Let's see..." Sirius unrolled the letter and quickly smoothed it out with his hand before reading, " _Dear Sirius and Remus, thank you so much for you lovely invitation. I was really glad to hear from you. However, I am sorry to inform you that I cannot..._ " Sirius' voice died down halfway through the sentence and his smile faded. "He's not coming."

Remus sat up right in his chair. "What? Why? Is he not feeling well?"

"No," Sirius said, his voice oddly calm. "He just says he's busy."

"Busy?" Remus repeated disbelievingly.

Sirius crumpled the letter in his hand. "What does this mean? Did we do something wrong?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

Remus sensed Sirius' disappointment and hurried to reply: "No, love, it's probably nothing. He might just have plans with some friends or so - it's a Friday night, after all!"

"But why not telling us, then? _Sorry, but I have made plans with Tom and Dick already_ \- it's not that difficult." He looked over at Remus, obviously feeling rejected by the young wizard.

"Oh, Sirius, don't get all worked-up about it. We'll find another night, love," he cooed, trying to sound reassuring.

He _should_ have expected it - the flaring anger in Sirius' face. Sirius had never taken rejection well. He was way too used to getting what he wanted, to being successful.

"Yes, of course _you_ are happy about this," he hissed and pointed at Remus, his grey eyes flashing. "You are still jealous, aren't you? Even after all the talking we did, you think I'll run off with him. You think I've fallen out of love with you!"

Remus knew it should all be true. He should feel incredibly jealous, should inwardly dance in joy about Harry's declining and fume about his partner's crestfallen face. But he wasn't - he felt disappointed himself. What was wrong with him? He loved Sirius. Under other circumstances, he'd probably gone wild again as soon as Sirius had suggested the invitation. But these weren't normal circumstances. This was seriously a mess.

"I am not jealous," Remus replied as calmly as he could.

" _Of course_ you are", Sirius barked. "You've seen him and now he's a real threat, the competition. You hate him for what I've done, for my mistakes, don't you?"

This was getting out of hand way too fast for Remus' taste. He knew Sirius could be melodramatic at times, but he usually never accused Remus out of the blue like that. Especially when he knew that Remus did not dislike Harry at all. Sirius wasn't daft - he had seen the way Remus had acted with Harry.

"This is ridiculous," he stated and stood up. "I had my fair share of arguing and drama this month. Try to calm down - you're supposed to be reasonable, Mr. Auror."

"According to you, I buggered my job up, anyways! And you know what? I am fed up, too. I need time to think." And with that, he turned and stalked into the hallway, towards the entrance door.

Again. He was doing it again - Sirius was running from yet another fight. And after all what happened the last time he'd decided to get away. He wouldn't let him do it. Not this time. They didn't need any more of a mess - they needed to _talk_. Openly and in honest. Shouting and accusations were getting them nowhere. Remus nearly pushed his morning coffee off the table while getting up.

"Sirius," he called and hurried after his partner. "Sirius, stop. Stop running away." But it was too late - as soon as Sirius opened the entrance door and left the boundaries of the anti-apparition wards, a small _plop_ announced his departure.

"Damn it," Remus shouted and kicked the door shut in frustration, something he normally was too controlled for. "Merlin's beard, Sirius. What are you doing?" he muttered into the empty hallway. Sirius didn't want to be tracked down, didn't want Remus to floo after him. Where had he gone? What was he doing? It was too early for drowning his worries in alcohol.

Over the next couple of hours, Remus paced through the flat, feeling restless. At first, he had hoped, Sirius would come back, seeing his mistake and ready to sort it out. But of course he hadn't. Remus should know Sirius hardly acted like the grown-up he was supposed to be.

But where could he have gone? Whom would he seek out to talk about his worries and fears? Who had helped him the last time they argued?

It was as if the scales has finally fallen from his eyes: Harry.

Sirius was with Harry.

\------

Remus had expected a lot of things. Sirius and Harry talking. Maybe hugging. Maybe kissing. Harry shouting at Sirius, Sirius shouting at Harry. Harry and Sirius in silence. Anything really.

What he hadn't expected, though, was Harry sitting on the floor in between piles and piles of photographs, staring up at him in confusion, a half-filled album in his hands.

"Re-remus?" he exclaimed, clearly gobsmacked by Remus' sudden appearance through the floo. The werewolf stared at the young wizard as if he had two heads, the green flames behind him slowly dying down. He had been wrong. Sirius wasn't here. He hadn't run off to Harry. Not at all.

"I..." was the only thing Remus could say for a minute. "I..."

Hastily, Harry put down the album and carefully extracted himself from the mess of pictures before stepping up to Remus. He still looked quite surprised, but a tad of worry lined his features now. His green eyes were searching Remus' face.

"What's going on? Has something happened?" Remus swallowed, picking up the slightly frantic tone in Harry's voice. For a few more seconds, he simply stared at the young man in front of him, taking in the deep green eyes, the wild black hair, the slightly flushed and worried face. Merlin, he wasn't supposed to be here.

"I am sorry," Remus forced out, struggling for regular breathing. "I thought... I am sorry. I'll go home."

"What? Remus, you're all pale!" Harry had grabbed the shaky werewolf's arm to keep him from moving away. "Come on, you need to sit down for a moment."

Carefully, Harry lead the trembling man to the couch nearby and pressed him down.

"Sorry," Remus murmured again. Sirius wasn't here. Where was he? Picking up someone else? Getting drunk? His vision blurred when tears threatened to spill over. Remus blinked furiously. He wouldn't lose his composure now. He knew how to control emotions, deal with unwanted feelings. _Though you've been failing at that recently_ , _haven't you?_ the familiar, nasty voice snickered in his head. Remus told it to shut up.

Harry, who had disappeared for a moment, returned with a steaming cup of tea he pressed into Remus' hands.

"Drink and talk," he ordered while sitting down next to him. After a few sips of surprisingly tasty tea, Remus had calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence.

"I am _very_ sorry", he repeated and looked at Harry. The wizard was smiling back encouragingly. "It's just- Sirius and I, we had another fight."

Harry's face fell. "And he has run off again, hasn't he?" he concluded darkly, then sighed. "And you thought he had come here." Harry leaned back with another sigh.

"I apologize. I shouldn't have assumed..."

"No. I understand. It makes sense." Harry smiled again, though it looked forced and didn't reach his beautiful eyes this time. Remus would recognize a fake smile anywhere, using it himself way too often. "Well, he isn't here. We didn't talk or write, either, if you're worried about that. Except your invitation, of course."

Remus nodded and put down his mug on the low table in front of them. His gaze wandered over to the pile of pictures. "Busy..." he murmured. He hadn't intended for Harry to hear but the young man averted his eyes, clearly embarrassed.

"I didn't want to lie," he muttered, playing with the hem of his shirt. "It's just..." Harry took a deep breath and looked up once more. "Look, Remus. I don't think we should be... friends, or something. Just look at this." A small, bitter laugh escaped his lips, his hand making a wide motion. "I messed it up. I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you. You love each other and having me around will only remind you of... you know." He fell silent, though his eyes were pleading.

Remus only stared at Harry. The rational part of him told him to agree. Yes, that's actually exactly what they should do: cut off any contact and continue life as if nothing had happened. Look the other way should they ever see each other on the street. Simply move on.

But there still was that _other_ part of him. The one that wanted to shake his head vigorously, grab Harry's hands and tell him that he didn't _want_ to forget about him. That he _liked_ him, wanted to get to know every single thing having to do with Harry Potter. The part that had already accepted that he'd never be able to get this young man out of his head.

Swirling thoughts started to overwhelm the werewolf, making him dizzy with emotion. There was the worry about losing the love of his life, the deep relationship with Sirius he had cherished over all these years; the heavy guilt because of these odd feelings, the forbidden attraction to Harry; and the frustration, the helplessness, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

When Harry opened his mouth again to end the silence, Remus did the only thing he could think of that moment, the only thing that seemed to make sense in his head. He leaned forward and caught those tempting lips in a long, breathtaking kiss.


	7. If I Can't Have You Soon

"Sirius? Is that you?"

A tall witch in long, burgundy robes was standing on the threshold of No. 12, Grimmauld Place, the silver doorknob in her hands, and was staring at the wet man in front of her in surprise. Her eyebrows arched and a devious grin appeared on her elegant face. "You look awful, dear."

"Thanks, Dromeda," Sirius answered dryly and brushed a sticky strand of hair out of his face. How should he have known that it had started to rain outside? Well, he hadn't exactly been in any state to consider the weather before apparating. "Can I come in or do you want to wait until I've caught a cold?"

Still smiling, Andromeda Tonks stepped back to let her freezing cousin in. She had always been Sirius' favourite. Even though her face strongly resembled that of Bellatrix Lestrange, Andromeda was nothing like her sister. She, too, had broken with the family and married a muggle-born wizard, Ted Tonks, but as soon as Sirius' mother had died, he had given her No. 12 as a present. Sirius had been happy to be rid off the house and Andromeda had enjoyed the challenge. 

The witch clapped her hands twice. A plop announced the arrival of a small, wrinkly house-elf, who immediately bowed down to greet its mistress and asked for orders.

"Gilly," she said and pointed at Sirius, whose soaked robes were slowly wetting the floor. "Please get Sirius here a towel and one of Ted's flannel shirts, maybe. And take care of the puddle, too."

"Of course, mistress," Gilly answered eagerly, the voice high and squeaky, and disappeared, only to return with the demanded things a few moments later.

Thanking Gilly, Sirius took the towel and rubbed his long, black hair dry. He peeled himself out of his wet clothes and handed the house-elf his robes and shirt before slipping into the soft and fluffy muggle clothing. It faintly smelled of flowers.

"Much better," Andromeda said approvingly and motioned him to follow into the warm kitchen across the entrance hall.

Sirius was always newly awed when walking through the house. He knew Andromeda had always been both stubborn and determined, but turning Grimmauld Place into this - Sirius still couldn't believe it. The building was nothing like it had been when Sirius lived here as a small boy. No. 12 had lost a lot of its darkness and could actually be called cozy now. The Tonkses had put in a lot of work to make the house a home instead of a torture chamber and definitely succeeded.

"So, to what do I owe the honour of your visit, Mr. Black?" Andromeda said and placed a cup of coffee in front of Sirius. She had never been a tea kind of person.

"I need to talk to someone", Sirius sighed and warmed his clammy hands on the mug. "Preferably someone I won't try to shag afterwards." Andromeda nearly choked on her own coffee.

"Well", she finally spluttered. "Wouldn't be the first time for the Black family - two cousins together?" Sirius let out a weak laugh.

"No, not really." There was a gloomy silence, before Sirius cleared his throat. "Remus and I have some... problems at the moment."

"Oh, really?" Andromeda pushed back her brown curls in thought, her eyes warming. "What kind of problems?"

Sirius sighed and told her the whole story. The incident with Greyback, the fight, the bar, Harry, the confession, meeting Harry again, arguing over Harry... while explaining it all to his cousin, Sirius realized just how tricky their situation really was.

"... so I just started to _accuse_ him, you know?" Sirius told her, sounding tired and slightly depressed. "I don't even know where all that shite came from. It was awful - and I didn''t even think it was true. I can see he is anything but jealous, which is rather astonishing, isn't it? Because he _should_ be jealous! He should kick me out of our flat until I beg him on my knees to forgive me and take me back. But that's Remus for you - always putting my needs before his. And look at me - look at what _I_ am doing. Constantly thinking about _Harry_ , wanting to see _Harry_..." He stopped and stared at his cousin, desperately seeking for some advise.

"Well," Andromeda finally replied after eyeing her cousin throughly. "What do you feel for Remus? What do you like about him?"

Sirius blinked at her. "I..." He gulped and straightened up a bit, his voice becoming determined. "I love him. Remus and I, we just _fit_. He sticks with me, no matter what I'm doing. He loved me with and without money. Merlin, he loved me after I nearly _cheated_ on him. He's kind, charming and wonderful, but doesn't see it at all. He thinks he _needs_ me, but I think I need him even more. Without Remus, I am nothing. I don't think I could ever bear being left by him."

Andromeda nodded, a small smile on her lips. "I thought so. Now, what is it about that Harry? What attracts you to him?" Sirius bit his lip. He had never really thought about it. Why did he like Harry, why was he obsessing this much? He tried to get his thoughts straight.

"That night in the bar, I was just looking for a flirt. I didn't want to go home with him, didn't want to meet him ever again. Just some... distraction," Sirius said slowly, his thumb tracing the edge of his cup. "But there were all the little things that slowly lured me in. The fact he had a book with him, clutching it like a life-line. The way he was feeling insecure about his sexual orientation but bravely told it straight at my face - rather Gryffindor, that. And those gorgeous eyes... I felt intrigued."

He swallowed and carefully looked up at Andromeda. Her face gave nothing away.

"But I think the real impact came from that telling-off," he continued. "He had just been rejected - the second time that night, really - and he _defended_ my partner, a total stranger. He didn't start to yell for his own sake and threw me out. No, he talked to me and stood up for _Remus_." A brief pause. "I- I think that moment I lost my heart a second time." He finally let go off the cup, only to tear at his hair instead. "Aren't I awful? How can I say I love Remus when I have similar feelings for someone else? What is wrong with me, Andromeda? What is happening?"

His cousin leaned over and gently pried his hands from his hair. She opened her mouth to reply but a new voice cut through.

"You're in love. That's what's happening."

Sirius and Andromeda both looked up to see bright pink hair and a cheeky smile.

"You're home early, Nymphadora," Andromeda exclaimed brightly and let go off Sirius' hands to wave at her daughter. The addressed witch grimaced.

"Don't _call_ me that." She sat down next to Sirius, nearly knocking over the coffee mugs in the process, and laid a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Back to you, Sirius. I was wondering why Moody put you on desk work this month. You're really worked up about this." She squeezed his right arm. "But - it's really rather simple."

"Simple?" Sirius nearly laughed at that. "I don't know how much you've heard but _simple_ is the last word I'd use to describe this mess."

Nymphadora shook her head, though. "But it is. Look, you love Remus. You love Harry. I'd say this is pretty obvious."

Sirius stared at her. Obvious? What in Merlin's name was she talking about? She couldn't simplify it like that. His love for Remus was totally different then the feelings he had for Harry. And even if she wanted to describe it this way, there was still the fact that there were three people - which was one too many.

"And what, dearest Dora, are you suggesting?" he muttered, but the nickname didn't get any reaction but a broad smile.

"A threesome."

Andromeda started to laugh. It was a magnificent sound, echoing through the large kitchen and her eyes were already watering from the hick-ups.

"What?" Nymphadora called indignantly. "I am serious!"

Sirius was positively gaping. "What... Dora, this is ridiculous," he stated faintly.

She shook her head and rose her voice, trying to drown her mother's giggles out. "It's not, though. If you have feelings for both of them and Remus is alright with it, you should try it. Maybe it will all work out and you'll have a nice little love triangle. Lots of people would love to have two special someones to confide in."

Andromeda had finally controlled her outburst and brushed a joyous tear off her cheek. "Your face, Sirius," she gasped, "was priceless." She took a deep breath and sobered. "But I must say I quite agree. Especially with what you told me about Remus' reaction and his kind-of-flirting in that shop! It's worth a try. Otherwise, your relationship with Remus might go to pieces over this. And I would hate to see that happen. I am quite fond of him myself."

Sirius gulped. What was this, some female fantasy of the Tonks witches to giggle over? But there was no joking twinkle in his cousin's brown eyes and her daughter nodded in satisfaction upon her mother's approval. They were serious about this. They really thought this was a good solution to all his problems.

"How is that supposed to work?" he finally murmured and Andromeda's face positively lit up. She looked like she had already won.

"You grab Remus and Harry and talk it over with them. No small talk, no pleasantries - just the naked truth." She was still smiling and Nymphadora nodded in emphasis.

"Mum is right," she agreed and grinned. "And if nothing helps, you simply kiss them breathless until they agree.

"Harry isn't even twenty yet," Sirius put in weakly. This was crazy. Absolute madness.

"Oh, come on, now," Nymphadora said and finally let go off Sirius' shoulder to slap her flat hand on the table. "Which gay 19-year-old doesn't dream of amazing sex with two hot and experienced men?"

Sirius couldn't argue. He had been nineteen once, after all. Hormones were a tricky thing. But still...

"So, how about you go back now and start to make this work", Andromeda said gently and stood up. Her face had become determined again. "See, you can use our floo, too. Don't want you to be wet again now, do we?"

Sirius nodded slowly and willingly followed Nymphadora's lead over to the fireplace. He let himself be pushed into the green flames with Nymphadora nearly knocking over the iron pokers.

"Good lu-huck," Andromeda chirped right before he vanished. "And don't forget to bring Harry over for dinner some time."

Sirius groaned and promptly swallowed a mouthful of ashes.


	8. I'll Be Consumed By Fire

Harry couldn't believe it. He was being kissed. Again.

Only this time, it weren't Sirius demanding and playful lips on his mouth, but Remus' gentle and careful caress. Harry had a hard time thinking straight with the kiss, though so different from Sirius', feeling that _good_. However, in the back of his mind, alarm bells had started to ring.

This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. Remus and Sirius were together and Harry had already interfered enough. This - this was just the tip of the iceberg, really. Remus wasn't supposed to kiss him. He should hate him! Where was the obligatory slap in the face?

Harry used all his willpower to raise his arms and forcefully push against Remus' torso, causing the werewolf to break the kiss. Harry had a hard time suppressing a whiny moan at the loss of contact and warmth against his face and tried to school his features into a blank mask.

Remus' cheeks were flushed and his amber eyes widened after Harry had pushed him away. His mouth was still slightly parted, his lips glossy and inviting. Harry swallowed. This really wasn't the time to contemplate just how handsome and attractive the man was. Actually, that time was never supposed to come.

"Oh Merlin." Remus finally exclaimed and averted his face. He grabbed a handful of tawny hair and stared down at the floor. "I- You-" He covered his face with his other palm and murmured something incomprehensible.

Harry carefully placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "Calm down," he tried to soothe him. "It's alright. We're going to figure this all out." Really, one would think he was the oldest of them all, trying to stay sane and reasonable in this whole jumble they had created.

"How is this alright?". Remus groaned but at least had stopped hiding behind his hand. "First Sirius, now me. Merlin, we're using you like some exciting toy, Harry!"

Harry's heart skipped a beat. _That_ was what the man was worried about? Great, now Remus was drowning in even more useless guilt than before. This had to stop.

"Enough!" he exclaimed and got Remus' undivided attention with the determination in his voice. "Let's make one thing perfectly clear. I do not feel used. On the contrary, I did quite enjoy both Sirius' and your advances. But my feelings are _not_ what matters at the moment, do you understand? This is about you and Sirius and how we- _you_ are going to fix your relationship."

Remus gaped at him. "Wait - are you telling me you feel attracted to _both_ of us?"

"Yes." Harry could feel his ears grow hot in something aching to shame but didn't look away.

"Oh," Remus sighed and blinked a few times before he leaned back into the couch. "Oh wow. So we _all_ have some odd feelings for each other, don't we?" He let out a small, dry laugh. "Merlin, trust Sirius to create total chaos with one hot-headed decision."

"Well, the solution to this is quite obvious," Harry said and stood up. "I am the problem here. You need to stop contacting me, both of you. Starting right now." Harry's heart ached while making his statement. He didn't want to be tossed aside. He really didn't. But it was the right thing to do, wasn't it? He didn't want to be a thorn in their relationship - a love that had lasted two decades. "Go. Go home and make up and forget about me."

"Forget about you?" Remus let out another one of those oddly dry laughs and slowly got up, too. Harry felt goosebumps rise on his arms when Remus' eyes flashed at him intensely. "Sorry, but that isn't possible. Believe me - both Sirius and I will not be able to do that. We can try to ignore your existence or maybe avoid thinking about you. But we won't forget." His lips formed a strange, crooked smile while tapping a finger against his temple. "You've sneaked into both of our minds - and hearts, too, maybe..."

"But... it's not right," Harry quietly argued. He watched Remus' shoulders slump and nod his head.

"Fair enough. But I don't want to decide this alone. Sirius is going to want to talk to you at least one more time." Another smile, this time a small but real one. "Do you want to come over now?"

Harry nodded. Better now than later. They had to get this over with.

\------

They nearly stumbled over Sirius when flooing into the older men's flat. The wizard seemed to just have returned home himself and for a moment was too surprised to do anything but look at them. Then, he moved forward to pull Remus close to his chest.

Harry watched them share the most passionate kiss he had ever witnessed in his life. Remus positively melted into his lover's arms and for a minute it seemed, both of them weren't in any need of oxygen, could simply live off touching each other's hair and body. When they finally parted, Remus leaned his forehead on Sirius' shoulders and seemed to inhale his partner's smell.

"Where were you?" he mumbled, sounding oddly relieved and anxious at the same time.

"Andromeda's," he replied and Remus nodded, smiling slightly. Well, Harry thought a bit relieved, at least Andromeda didn't seem to be yet another possible lover added to this equation.

"Hello Harry," Sirius suddenly said, and slowly let go off Remus to make a wary step towards him. He was smiling brightly.

"Hey", Harry greeted back, feeling extremely insecure, and unconsciously grasped the hem of his shirt. He shot a desperate look at Remus, willing him to speak up. However, Sirius seemed to have a different plan.

"We need to talk." he stated and pointed at the kitchen table nearby. "Right now, I'd say."

Remus' eyebrows rose and he exchanged a quick glance with Harry before he moved to sit down. Sirius and Harry followed suit. Harry's brain chose this moment to register that this time, he wasn't sitting opposite of the couple. He's was right in between them.

"So, I went to my cousin Andromeda earlier," Sirius elaborated for Harry, "because I needed an outsider's point of view for this... situation." He tried to meet both of the other men's eyes. "You agree that this can't go on like this, right?"

Remus nodded and sent Harry a small reassuring smile before speaking up: "We do. Actually, we had come here to talk to you, too. We all realize this is a right mess."

"Exactly," Sirius agreed. "So, to Andromeda and Nymphadora - that's her daughter - the solution seemed quite obvious." Harry sighed inwardly in relief. This would be so much easier with Sirius already having talked it over with another person. Surely, they had come to the same conclusion as Harry.

"What did they say?" Remus asked calmly. Harry could see in his face that he was thinking somewhere along the same lines as him.

"Well," Sirius replied slowly,."They had an... _interesting_ idea. I was kind of shocked, to tell you the truth. I am still kind of... overwhelmed. But looking at you now, I think... I mean, seeing you _together_ and thinking about it... it's such a difference." He stopped, obviously realising he wasn't making much sense any more.

"Care to enlighten us?" Remus spoke up again, his brow furrowed. Merlin, Harry was so thankful the man had taken over the talking. He was feeling extremely antsy by now and wasn't sure if he'd make much more sense than Sirius, who was taking a deep breath now.

"They told me," he started out and stopped again. "They suggested..." Another deep breath and Harry realised that he was holding his own by now. He wished Sirius would just spit it out. "They said we should try a threesome."

The sentence was sputtered so quickly that Harry was absolutely positive he had misunderstood. Had Sirius just said the word Harry thought he had said? But that couldn't be. That was - that was -

"Ridiculous!" Once more, Remus had voiced Harry's thoughts.

"What?" Sirius exclaimed, indignation evident. "I don't think it's such a bad idea, after all. It does make sense."

"Sirius, that's just... I mean... what is Andromeda _thinking_?" Remus called back and threw up a hand in emphasis. "She _can't_ be serious. _You_ can't be serious!"

"But I am," he retorted. "And certainly no pun intended. Plus, I am quite sure Andromeda was thinking about _us_ and how we can be _happy_ again. I am tired of arguments and weird moods and all this." He pointed at Harry. "I can't stop thinking about you, Harry. I've been feeling guilty and bad about it but it won't go away. I don't know if it is these _damn_ green eyes or your passion or just _you_ , but it's true. I think I'm falling for you!"

"And you," he continued and moved his finger towards Remus, "Remus, you think me less observing that I actually am. I survived _Slytherin_ , for Merlin's sake, and you can't do that without vigilance. I can see that you are attracted to Harry. I don't know why I said those things this morning, but obviously you are not jealous at all. You _like_ him!"

Remus stared back at his lover and looked absolutely flabbergasted. His mouth was slightly parted and for once, he seemed to be lost for words. Sirius had a rather smug expression on his face. Maybe that was why Harry's mouth blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.

"You're not supposed to point at people."

For a moment there was absolute silence. Then, Sirius threw his head back and started to laugh. Bark-like bursts of laughter pearled from his lips and he didn't look like he'd stop any time soon. Only a few seconds later, Remus started to chuckle on Harry's other side, at first low and quiet before, too, breaking into fits of laughs. Harry couldn't help but join and quickly, the kitchen seemed to ring in resounding echos.

It hadn't been all that funny, really. Later, Harry would blame it on the comic relief after all the tension and worry of the last weeks. Every single suppressed fear and all the anxiety was finally breaking through and had sublimated into laughter.

When they had finally calmed down, Sirius reached out to grab one of Remus' and Harry's hands each, his grey eyes still sparkling.

"Look," he said and for some reason, Harry's heart jumped at the light and warm tone that Sirius' voice had adopted. "I know this seems odd. But - we all feel _something_ for each other, don't we?"

Harry only nodded and couldn't help but smile when Sirius squeezed his hand in reply.

"Yes," Remus breathed and Harry could feel him lean closer.

"Then I think we should try it." And with that he had grabbed Harry by the collar and pulled him close enough to catch his lips in a kiss.

It was still as amazing as the first time their lips had touched. If Harry hadn't sat already he was sure he would've lost any feeling in his legs. But it didn't stop there, because next to him, he could hear something like a possessive growl. Then, there was another pair of lips caressing his neck and two hands sneaking onto his hips and for what seemed like eternity, Harry was lost in the sensation of tiny touches, passionate kisses and careful little bites.

Merlin, this was absolutely breathtaking. Harry was sure he had never experienced anything this arousing. And despite all of his previous doubts, it also felt incredibly _right_.

By now, Remus had claimed Harry's mouth and even though his kisses were still different from Sirius', they felt a lot more passionate then the gentle, exploring one they had first shared at Harry's flat earlier. He had been right - under the gentle and bookish facade there was so much more to explore, especially where he had gotten the strength to pick him up like this?

"Wha-what are you doing?" Harry exclaimed breathlessly when Remus effortlessly hoisted him into his arms. A new, feral but oddly exciting grin appeared on Remus' face.

"Bedroom," he said, his voice darker than usual.

"Merlin, Remus - I love it when you're being like this,"Sirius groaned next to them and practically jumped up from his chair. Harry didn't need his glasses to see that Sirius was equally aroused -  his tight black trousers really gave anything down there away.

As soon as they reached the bedroom, Remus deposited Harry on the mattress before turning around to welcome Sirius' embrace.

"This is going to be special," Sirius whispered, still loud enough for Harry to hear. Merlin, those two looked so _hot_ together. Sirius briefly kissed his partner before turning his eyes to Harry, his hands sneaking to Remus' behind in the meanwhile, squeezing his lover's butt.

"So, Harry, my love." he stated and winked at him. Harry blushed slightly at the term of endearment. "Top or bottom?" Scratch that. His face had probably turned bright red.

"B-bottom, mostly," he stammered, silently berating himself for being this awkward. He wanted this, right? Sirius and Remus - they were gorgeous. And they found him attractive - _him_ , Harry. But there was still the fact that they were _three_ people. He hadn't really thought about just _how_ that worked in the bedroom.

"Oh my, Harry," Remus suddenly exclaimed, his voice back to gentle and worrying instead of smoky and aroused. "Are you nervous? You have _some_ experience, don't you?"

Really, this shouldn't embarrass him so much. He'd be naked very soon and definitely hadn't been so self-conscious when Sirius and him had been at his flat.

"I'm not a virgin, if you mean that," he said and bravely looked up at them. Both of them seemed extremely relieved. They moved to sit down on either side of him. Remus' arm sneaked around his waist again and he placed a lingering kiss on Harry's cheek.

"Are you scared?" he asked and Sirius warm hand appeared on his thigh in comfort.

"A-a litte, I guess?" Harry admitted. Because it was true, wasn't it? He definitely felt aroused and loved every little touch. But two older men - it was very intimidating, to say the least. And after all, he had only known them for a few weeks! It felt strange in spite of all the sexual tension that had built up between them.

"That's fine," Sirius cooed and smiled brightly. "We can take it slow. Don't worry."

"We'll make sure you'll enjoy this, right?" Remus stated and Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Just relax," he said and let his hand wander up until it touched the newly growing bulge in Harry's trousers. Harry gasped. Sirius chuckled.

What followed was the slow process of undressing. It felt strangely intimate. They balanced each other out quite well, though, taking turns with each piece of clothing. Harry didn't know something as simple as opening buttons could be this arousing. But didn't that just speak of his inexperience?

Soon enough, though, they were all skin and naked flesh. Sirius' skin was pale and smooth and his body well-toned which came as no surprise. Aurors were supposed to keep in shape, right? Remus, however, was special. He wasn't as muscular as Sirius but beautiful nonetheless. Harry hoped he'd look that good in his late thirties. Hundreds of thin, silvery lines covered his whole body. Only after a few moments he realised that they were scars. He didn't dare to ask how he'd gotten them. It felt too personal, somehow even more than nakedly touching each other.

However, the scars and everything, really, faded into the background when smart fingers had found his arousal. He couldn't help it - he let out a needy moan at the contact.

"Gorgeous," Remus rumbled into his ear and Harry shivered in anticipation. He was only being teased a short while before the hand disappeared again. Sirius moved behind him and propped Harry up against him, so his lower body was fully exposed. Remus licked his lips at the sight before lowering his head.

As soon as a wet tongue licked the top of his arousal, Harry moaned again. At the sound, he could feel something harden at his lower back. It took him two sucking sensations to realize it was Sirius' arousal pressed against his skin. Thinking had become rather difficult, as a lusty fog had overtaken his senses. He was lost inthe feeling of the wet warmth that surrounded his length and the nibbling at his neck which Sirius seemed to be an expert at.

Merlin, he had never felt this aroused, this needy, this _hard_.

"Ah... aah..." he breathed. Where had Remus _learned_ these things?

"This is torture," Sirius moaned behind him and placed one more kiss on Harry's neck before slowly moving the younger man's back in order to be able to move away. Harry simply sank further into the pillows, too far into Remus' attentions to even wonder where he had disappeared to.

He'd know a minute later.

"Let's get to the good part," Sirius announced and Harry whined pitifully when cold air hit his arousal. Why had Remus stopped? He couldn't stop now! He had been getting really close.

"You're so impatient," Remus said, mirth in his deep voice and Harry wasn't sure if he was speaking to Sirius or him - or both. Remus reached out and slowly pulled Harry against his chest. Harry's wet length met Remus' arousal and both men gasped in need.

Sirius had positioned himself behind Harry again.

"You need to stay relaxed now," he said calmly before a slick finger sneaked between Harry's buttocks. Oh - now, this, Harry was familiar with and his hips immediately jerked back as soon as Sirius entered. He gasped as his arousal rubbed against Remus' once more. Sirius chuckled again as they both moaned and added another finger. For a minute, Harry was lost in the sensation of being stretched while slowly rubbing against Remus who had broken out into low, short moans and gasps.

Then Sirius' fingers disappeared and Harry could feel him position himself.

"Relax," Sirius repeated as he carefully parted Harry's buttocks with warm hands and something hard pressed against the younger wizard's entrance. Then, he slowly sank in and Harry let out one long, lusty moan.

"Sirius," he gasped and clutched Remus' shoulders in support, who placed a few, light kisses on Harry's slightly sweaty forehead and reached out for Harry's hips to steady him a bit. Carefully, Sirius retreated only to thrust back with full force. The second time, he brushed that sweet spot in Harry and a small sensation tingled through his body, making his arousal twitch. The third time, Sirius hit and Harry started to move with him, wanting to feel that incredible wave of lust every single time.

He'd swear nothing had ever felt as amazing and good as Sirius thrusting into him while he was rubbing his arousal against Remus', all the while moaning and groaning in satisfaction. Remus shut him up several times by demanding kiss after kiss, throughly exploring Harry's mouth while they both slowly rocked towards their climax. It was a wave of pleasure Harry hadn't even imagined feeling. How could he have ever thought this to be wrong?

He came first. The sensations were simply too much, too strong, too intense for him to last longer than this. He moaned loudly against Remus' lips when he hit his orgasm and this seemed to set off the other man, too, who followed only seconds later, claiming Harry's lips in another, deep kiss. Encouraged by Harry's and Remus' screams of pleasure, Sirius took two more thrusts to climax himself and he positively collapsed over Harry with a satisfied sigh.

For a few minutes, all they did was pant and breathe heavily, a tangle of arms and sticky legs and hot, flushed skin. The air smelled of musk and sweat and Harry felt warm and exhausted. Then, he could feel strong arms pull him in an upright position. Someone had apparently muttered a cleaning charm as Harry could feel the familiar tingling sensation on his now clean skin. Another pair of arms embraced him and the young man found himself in between Sirius and Remus once again as they slowly lay down comfortably on the mattress.

"Perfect," Sirius broke the silence after a few more moments.

"I know," Remus mumbled on the other side. "You don't know how much I love Andromeda right now."

"Do I smell a foursome?" Harry only heard a slapping sound and a muffled _"Ouch, Remus, that hurt!"_ from Sirius.

"How are you, Harry?" Remus eventually asked and nuzzled his nose against Harry's cheek. Harry smiled.

"Great," he muttered and closed his eyes, "Tired. Sleep?" He was pretty sure it was only late afternoon but frankly, he was too exhausted to care.

"Sure," Sirius agreed and moved a bit. Harry could feel his long hair tickle his face. He liked that.

"More talking tomorrow?" Remus suggested quietly.

Harry only nodded against Sirius' chest.


	9. Fin

Remus woke up and immediately knew they had slept through the night.

The deep yellow light of the sunrise just outside the window seemed to submerge the whole room and brought playful shadows onto the ceiling. Remus blinked a few times and finally looked down to see Harry's peaceful face close to his left arm, framed by tousled black hair. The soft light illuminated his features. He was absolutely beautiful.

With a quiet sigh, Remus carefully slid out of bed, trying to untangle himself from Harry's light grip and the blankets they had managed to throw over their naked bodies before falling asleep. Harry stirred slightly, but didn't wake up. Sirius mumbled something and snuggled closer to the young man he was holding in his arms. Remus smiled at them. Their dark hair matched perfectly.

On tip-toes, he walked over to the wardrobe to get dressed and a moment later, slipped out of the room in pajama bottoms.

He couldn't quite believe it. Had they really listened to Andromedas advice? It still seemed like a foggy dream to Remus. The last weeks had been an emotional Gringotts ride, to say the least. They had all been and probably still were carrying a wild mix of emotions and feelings around. But it had felt right last night, hadn't it? He had always enjoyed sex with Sirius but yesterday had been breathtaking. Sirius was gorgeous, but combined with Harry, Remus had been blown away. He had no doubts that their threesome would work - well, at least in thebedroom.

Absentmindedly, he cooked up some coffee and startled a bit when the familiar tapping of a beak on glass sounded through the kitchen. The paper was being delivered and Remus hurried to let the owl in. As always, the animal eyed him suspiciously. This time, the bird even pecked at his hand and he had a hard time putting the Knuts into the small leather purse bound to the owl's leg without being hit.

This was the biggest problem. One Remus had pushed aside so far. His lycanthropy could endanger everything they had achieved last night. Remus was deeply afraid of telling Harry the truth. But really, how long could he keep it a secret? The usual excuses like meeting friends or a sick relative didn't really work for long. And he didn't even have a job at the moment to pretend night shifts or something similar! Should their relationship continue and develop, secrecy was really not an option.

"Morning!"

Remus jumped and nearly dropped _The Daily Prophet_ on the floor. People usually weren't able to sneak up on a werewolf. He had really been lost in his thoughts to tune out his enhanced senses like this. Harry had come into the kitchen, wearing boxers and one of Sirius' shirts. So the other man was apparently awake, too. Had Remus woken them up after all?

"Good morning," Remus replied and tried to smile in spite of his gloomy thoughts. Harry eyed him for a moment before hesitantly stepping up to him and placing a small kiss on Remus' right cheek. Remus' smile warmed instantly and his heart made an excited jump. "So, you're still with us?" he asked hopefully.

Harry nodded. "I am," he emphasized and smiled brightly. "This really helped with... all the confusion. No more hidden feelings and secrets and such. It's nice."

"Definitely." Remus laughed, though it sounded a bit forced. Harry didn't know the half of it.

He offered a cup of coffee to Harry in order to distract himself and the young man settled down, adding cream to his cup.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus enquired.

"Shower," Harry replied and took a long sip of coffee. "He wasn't very talkative, though."

"He's not an early riser," the werewolf explained and dropped down on the chair next to Harry. "You're still alive, though, so he must be fond of you. I really don't know how Slytherin house survived with him there."

"What house were you in, Remus?"

"Ravenclaw. I always loved reading and don't mind studying at all, so I guess it fit me," Remus explained.

"My parents thought I'd be a Ravenclaw, too," Harry told him thoughtfully. "I'm very fond of books myself. But I guess the hat thought me more brave than clever." He laughed and Remus couldn't help but join. The young man was enchanting. "So, how did you and Sirius get together, then?"

"We knew each other from classes of course," Remus said, his eyes wandering while reminiscing, "But it wasn't until I was accidently thrown into detention with him that we really talked to each other. He had pulled some silly prank and to Professor McGonagall it had apparently looked like I had been part of it."

"I had of course planned it that way," came a cheerful voice from the door. This time, Remus wasn't surprised. He had heard his lover's steps approach.

"Of course, Sirius," Remus responded dryly. Harry chuckled lightly. "Anyway", he continued. "We talked and I guess we sort of took to each other..."

"Come on," Sirius interrupted immediately while sitting down next to Remus, his black hair still glistening wetly. "Call it by its real name - it was love on first sight." He winked at Harry who blushed a little.

"We were fifteen," Remus pointed out, exasperation evident in his voice.

"Nearly sixteen. And full of hormones and sexual frustration because homosexuality wasn't really big back then. Remus couldn't resist my stunning looks, either, of course. I practically saw _crush_ written all over his face."

"Be that as it may," Remus told Harry with a glare in Sirius' direction. "To make a long story short, Sirius here wouldn't leave me in peace and we ended up together. Even though we weren't officially going out until graduation."

Sirius pouted. "You make this sound a whole less romantic than it actually was."

"It is romantic, though," Harry agreed with warm eyes. "So, you haven't been going out with anyone else ever since Hogwarts then?"

Remus shook his head.

"Until now, of course," Sirius added and rose his eyebrows at Harry, who looked away, clearly embarrassed.

"About that," he muttered but didn't continue.

"Yes, about that," Sirius picked up brightly. "What do you think?" Remus felt his partner's arms circle around his shoulders and embrace him lightly. Sirius pressed a gentle kiss on his left cheek. Remus smiled.

"I," Harry started out hesitantly and looked at them intensely. "I like you. Both of you, I mean." A small smile sneaked onto his lips. "Well, I guess that much was obvious yesterday." Remus stifled a snicker and reached out for Sirius' hands to make them rest.

"It was," he agreed. "But do you want to continue this? Make it a commitment? A real relationship?"

Harry nodded promptly, probably lost for words. For a minute, all three of them just looked at each other. Remus was genuinely happy about Harry's decision. The young man's face was glowing in equal satisfaction and Remus could only imagine what Sirius was feeling. But there was still that one issue. The thing they had to tell him about.

But Remus didn't feel ready at all.

\------

"You _need_ to tell him."

"I can't, Sirius. I just can't do it." Remus drove his hand through the tawny locks at the back of his head. He could already feel his scalp itch, the skin preparing to grow wolf fur very soon. "I have never told _anyone_."

"I knew about it," Sirius pointed out. "Andromeda also knows and she is _perfectly_ fine with it. Dumbledore knew and let you attend Hogwarts, love!"

Remus sighed heavily. "But all of you just ended up figuring it out. I couldn't hide it from your curiosity and cleverness. Dumbledore just... knew. And Andromeda burned me twice with her silver cutlery, as you very well know, before putting two and two together. I never had to look someone in the eye and tell them that I am monster!"

"But you're _not_ a monster," Sirius answered, a hint of desperation in his voice. Remus couldn't stand the unfaltering loyalty in those sincere grey eyes, as somewhere deep down he thought he wasn't worth any of those feelings. Even after all the arguments. Even after all those years.

"He will hate me," Remus whispered and found himself in Sirius' arms a moment later.

"He won't!" Sirius voice was intense, nearly sharp. "Harry has been here nearly every day for two weeks. Haven't you _looked_ at him? He couldn't hurt a fly. Sometimes, he even surpasses you with his ridiculous selflessness and compassion."

Remus chuckled weakly. Sirius' familiar scent filled his nose and the wolf, so close to the surface today, growled in satisfaction.

"I am scared," he eventually admitted, face buried between Sirius' neck and shoulder.

"I know," Sirius answered soothingly. "But trust me. Harry won't mind. He'll probably go and try to find a cure instantly, just to help you."

The flaring of flames got Remus' attention. A moment later, unsteady steps on tiles announced the arrival via floo of someone in the kitchen.

"Hello?" Harry's familiar voice sounded through the flat.

"Living room," Sirius called back and a moment later, a slightly flushed but cheerful Harry entered the room. However, his smile faltered a bit when he saw Sirius' comforting arms around Remus.

"What's going on?" he asked, frowning slightly. "Are you alright, Remus?"

Remus nodded quickly and stepped away from Sirius, not without catching a meaningful glance from the wizard.

"You look pale, though," Harry continued after absentmindedly kissing Sirius hello. He eyed Remus closely. "Are you getting sick? Maybe you should take some Pepper-Up?" It really was the perfect opportunity to rid himself off the heavy secret of his lycanthropy. But panic began to rise when he thought about the possible outcomes of a conversation like this.

Harry's face, distorted in disgust and maybe fear. Harry, running from their flat after shouting at Remus, outraged by the betrayal. And Sirius - Sirius deciding Remus wasn't worth the trouble anymore and going with him! And Remus wouldn't blame either of them. He'd silently agree. Sirius deserved someone like Harry.

Trying to escape from the pool of depressing thoughts, Remus croaked out an unconvincing: "I'm perfectly fine, Harry."

The young man simply rose his eyebrows and turned to Sirius with an expecting expression.

"Look, Harry," the older wizard said in that serious voice he only used on rare occasions. "There is something we haven't told you yet. It's very important that you know, though."

Harry nodded slowly, carefully studying both Sirius and Remus, whose throat suddenly felt clogged and tight. Panic began to quicken his heartbeat. The wolf, still a bit weaker as the human part of mind, stirred nervously and in impatience. He wasn't ready. They couldn't tell him. Remus wasn't prepared.

"Sirius," he attempted to warn his partner. It turned out to sound like a pathetic whimper.

"Remus, this is ridiculous," Sirius cried and gave him a hard look. "Either, you tell him right now, or I'll do it for you."

Merlin, Sirius looked so determined. Remus didn't know what to do. He had no doubt that Sirius would tell Harry in lieu. His breath was coming irregularly now and he was sure his yellowing eyes were wide in panic. He swallowed several times, trying to handle the wave of emotions that threatened to drown him. This was too much.

"What is _wrong_?" Remus couldn't stand the sight of Harry's gorgeous emerald eyes, sparkling with the very compassion Sirius had praised only minutes ago. "Remus, you can tell me anything, you know that. _Please?_ This worries me." Harry was pleading by now.

"I," Remus whispered, his mouth oddly dry. How was he supposed to tell someone that meant so much to him something so terrible? Remus knew he wouldn't be able to stand the rejection of a beloved one.

Then, there were warm fingers that entwined with his own and a gentle squeeze. Sirius' hand warmed his own palm, that had gone clammy with nervousness. A spark of encouragement ignited in Remus. It was all he needed to finally press out the words he had always feared to say out loud.

"I am a werewolf."

A ringing silence descended. Remus had closed his eyes halfway through the sentence. His heart was beating fast and all that kept him from running was Sirius' warm and reassuring grip on his hand. Every fiber in Remus' body tensed, preparing for Harry's judgement.

All he heard was the rustling of clothes before his fingers were ripped away from Sirius' due to the impact of the bone-crushing hug he was receiving.

"Oh, Remus," Harry said into his shoulders, arms holding him tightly. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I had wondered about the scars and the strength, but... Merlin, Remus, I am _sorry_..."

Remus was too stunned to return the embrace. Unbelievingly, he stared down onto the head of black hair while Harry continued his string of needless apologies and declarations. Slowly, the information seeped through and was processed in his mind. Harry didn't hate him. Harry was hugging him, trying to give comfort and reassurance.

A relieved half-laugh pearled from Remus' lips when he was finally able to return the embrace, deeply inhaling the smell of the raven silky hair and enjoying the warmth that was Harry. When they finally broke apart, Harry looked close to tears.

"I am so sorry," he repeated what had to be the twentieth time. "Here I am, suffocating you instead of helping. Merlin, isn't it full moon today? Are you in any pain yet?"

"No, don't worry," Remus answered breathlessly, unable to rid his face of the bright, relieved smile it had adopted. "It's hours until moonrise."

Remus heard Sirius start out on the story of his lycanthropy, being pressed down onro the sofa nearby in the meanwhile. He only half-listened to him. All he could do was look at Harry and see all those emotions flickering over his face, that weren't disgust or fear. There was compassion and sympathy, maybe a tad of worry. But nothing truly negative. Nothing indicating he was backing out.

"... so ever since the Wolfsbane, his transformations are relatively fine. Humans still shouldn't be around, I guess, but he won't try to hurt himself or go hunting."

Harry nodded. "And you keep him company - in your Animagus form?"

"I do," Sirius replied easily. Harry nodded again and turned to Remus, who was sitting right next to him.

"Thank you for telling me, Remus. It means a lot," he said and Remus' heart warmed.

Why had ever worried? Sirius had been right. Of course he had been. Harry _loved_ him, werewolf or not. And, Remus realized, he loved him, too. Really loved him. He wasn't just attracted or liked him or had a little crush. This was love. The same thing he was feeling for Sirius.

He leaned forward and caught those sweet and tempting lips in a long, deep kiss.

"You, Harry James Potter, are wonderful," he declared and enjoyed the delicate blush that crept onto his partner's, _his partner's,_ cheeks.

Sirius chuckled. "You're both wonderful", he said and winked at them, fondness evident in every syllable before turning pensive. "I might just have to go and thank Greyback for being such a bloody bastard after all."

Harry frowned in confusion but his silent question was waved away by Remus.

"I don't want to talk about _him_ tonight," the werewolf said, his arm sneaking around Harry's hips, pulling him closer.

Sirius' eyes flashed at them. "I wish it wasn't the full moon," he replied, his voice a tad darker while studying the two of them together. Remus smiled knowingly.

"We still have close to three hours, I think."

It was all the invitation they needed. And who would blame them?

Because these three men were in love.


End file.
